Category: Parenting

How a school kept parents happy using SMS

Parents are funny creatures. When it comes to their offspring, their expectations of care and service generally escalate beyond that which they would be happy with for just themselves.
So a Queensland school recently scored 110% for customer service from parents of children returning from a school camp simply from the sending on a simple text message.
The school camp was on an island and as the weather had deteriorated and the seas become rough on the night before they were due to return home, the school took the initiative of organizing a bigger boat to ensure enhanced comfort and safety of the students and staff.
Of course parents may not have known this and remained worried.
The school took another step and sent a text message advising parents that a bigger boat had been organized, the firm arrival time of the boat and requested to know if the parents wanted to collect their children from the dock, or have them taken to school and be picked up at end of the normal school day.
By personalising the message not only with the parent’s name and the child’s name and asking for a response by SMS, there was a quick, simple and effective communication channel set up that only cost a few dollars and saved staff time and parent concern.

How Can Parents Model Good Listening Skills?

Listen Better, Learn More

In one of the Family Circus cartoon strips, the little girl looks up at her father, who is reading the newspaper, and says: “Daddy, you have to listen to me with your eyes as well as your ears.” That statement says almost all there is to say about listening, whether in our personal conversations or in learning in school.

Do Listening Skills Affect Learning?

Listening is not a school subject like reading and writing. Many of us seem to feel it comes naturally and that as long as we can listen to directions on how to find the restroom, nothing more needs to be said. The latest studies reveal that listening is a very large part of school learning and is one of our primary means of interacting with other people on a personal basis. It is estimated that between 50 and 75 percent of students’ classroom time is spent listening to the teacher, to other students, or to audio media.

Can Parents Guide Their Children To Better Listening?

According to research on listening skills, being a good listener means focusing attention on the message and reviewing the important information. Parents can model good listening behavior for their children and advise them on ways to listen as an active learner, pick out highlights of a conversation, and ask relevant questions. Sometimes it helps to “show” children that an active listener is one who looks the speaker in the eye and is willing to turn the television off to make sure that the listener is not distracted by outside interference.

Guidelines For Modeling Good Listening Skills

* Be interested and attentive. Children can tell whether they have a parent’s interest and attention by the way the parent replies or does not reply. Forget about the telephone and other distractions. Maintain eye contact to show that you really are with the child.

* Encourage talking. Some children need an invitation to start talking. You might begin with, “Tell me about your day at school.” Children are more likely to share their ideas and feelings when others think them important.

* Listen patiently. People think faster than they speak. With limited vocabulary and experience in talking, children often take longer than adults to find the right word. Listen as though you have plenty of time.

* Hear children out. Avoid cutting children off before they have finished speaking. It is easy to form an opinion or reject children’s views before they finish what they have to say. It may be difficult to listen respectfully and not correct misconceptions, but respect their right to have and express their opinions.

* Listen to nonverbal messages. Many messages children send are communicated nonverbally by their tone of voice, their facial expressions, their energy level, their posture, or changes in their behavior patterns. You can often tell more from the way a child says something than from what is said. When a child comes in obviously upset, be sure to find a quiet time then or sometime that day to help explore those feelings.

Suggestions For Improving Communication With Children

* Be interested. Ask about children’s ideas and opinions regularly. If you show your children that you are really interested in what they think, what they feel, and what their opinions are, they will become comfortable about expressing their thoughts to you.

* Avoid dead-end questions. Ask children the kinds of questions that will extend interaction rather than cut it off. Questions that require a yes or no or right answer lead a conversation to a dead end. Questions that ask children to describe, explain, or share ideas extend the conversation.

* Extend conversation. Try to pick up a piece of your child’s conversation. Respond to his or her statements by asking a question that restates or uses some of the same words your child used. When you use children’s own phrasing or terms, you strengthen their confidence in their conversational and verbal skills and reassure them that their ideas are being listened to and valued.

* Share your thoughts. Share what you are thinking with your child. For instance, if you are puzzling over how to rearrange your furniture, get your child involved with questions such as, “I’m not sure where to put this shelf. Where do you think would be a good place?”

* Observe signs. Watch the child for signs that it is time to end a conversation. When a child begins to stare into space, give silly responses, or ask you to repeat several of your comments, it is probably time to stop the exchange.

* Reflect feelings. One of the most important skills good listeners have is the ability to put themselves in the shoes of others or empathize with the speaker by attempting to understand his or her thoughts and feelings. As a parent, try to mirror your children’s feelings by repeating them. You might reflect a child’s feelings by commenting, “It sounds as if you’re angry at your math teacher.” Restating or rephrasing what children have said is useful when they are experiencing powerful emotions that they may not be fully aware of.

* Help clarify and relate experiences. As you listen, try to make your child’s feelings clear by stating them in your own words. Your wider vocabulary can help children express themselves as accurately and clearly as possible and give them a deeper understanding of words and inner thoughts.

Why Are Parents Important In Building Children’s Communication Skills?

Parents play an essential role in building children’s communication skills because children spend more time with their parents than with any other adult. Children also have a deeper involvement with their parents than with any other adult, and the family as a unit has lifelong contact with its members. Parents control many of the contacts a child has with society as well as society’s contacts with the child.

Adults, parents, and teachers set a powerful example of good or poor communication. Communication skills are influenced by the examples children see and hear. Parents and teachers who listen to their children with interest, attention, and patience set a good example. The greatest audience children can have is an adult who is important to them and interested in them.

Sources

Most of the following references-those identified with an ED or EJ number–have been abstracted and are in the ERIC database. The journal articles should be available at most research libraries. For a list of ERIC collections in your area, contact ACCESS ERIC at 1-800-LET- ERIC.

* Bodner-Johnson, Barbara (November/December 1988). “Conversation Begins at Home–Around the Table.” Perspectives for Teachers of the Hearing Impaired, 13-15. EJ 385 425.
* Carlisle, Lynn (1988). Communication Skills. Sacramento: California State Department of Education, Division of Special Education. ED 315 933.
* Edleston, Charlotte (1987). A Program of Games and Activities to Increase Listening and Attentional Skills in Kindergarten. Nova University: Ed.D. Practicum, Dissertation/Theses. ED 292 586.
* Harmon, Geraldine (1988). Facilitating Communicative Competence in Young Children: Techniques for Parents and Teachers. Nova University: Ed.D. Practicum, Dissertation/Theses. ED 292 565.
* Johnson, Ruth and others (1981). Improving Your Child’s Listening and Language Skills: A Parent’s Guide to Language Development. Washington, DC: Handicapped Children’s Early Education Program Division of Special Education Programs. ED 234 576.
* Maxwell, Margaret John (1981). Listening Games for Elementary Grades. Washington, DC: Acropolis Books, Ltd.

For more information on this subject, contact:

* ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication Skills
* Indiana University
* Smith Research Center, Suite 150
* 2805 East 10th Street
* Bloomington, IN 47408-2698
* (800) 759-4723
* http://www.indiana.edu/~eric_rec/

Credits

Written by Carl Smith, Director, ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication Skills.

This publication was prepared by ACCESS ERIC in association with the ERIC Clearinghouse on Reading and Communication Skills, with funding from the Office of Educational Research and Improvement, U.S. Department of Education, under Contract No. RI890120. The opinions expressed in this brochure do not necessarily reflect the positions or policies of the Department of Education.

TITLE: How Can Parents Model Good Listening Skills?
AUTHOR: Carl Smith
PUBLICATION DATE: Fall 1992

PARENT INVOLVEMENT

The primary goal of this plan is to encourage and facilitate parental involvement in the elementary classroom. Since there is no one reason for nonparticipation I am advancing several approaches that seek to address a variety of obstacles that parents face in becoming involved in their child’s education. I’m also interested in ideas that others may have on this topic, so please e-mail me with your feedback and ideas.

Start Up Calls

Spend the week before school starts calling each parent to introduce your self, emphasize their importance from the start and open lines of communication. Invite them to a parent meeting and take this time to discuss scheduling a meeting for when the most parents can attend.

Calling Web

Establish a calling web in which each parent is responsible for calling two or three other parents to notify of special events or news. Attempt to set up so bilingual parents will call those that don’t speak English well. This will help to address communication issues for those who don’t read. Designate a neighbor to inform those with out phones.

Beginning of the Year Questionnaire

Send a questionnaire home to parents on the first day of school. Ask them these kind of questions:

  • Tell me about your child, what are his or her interests?
  • What do you think is important for your child learn this year?
  • Is there anything you especially want me to know about your child?
  • How would you like to be involved in your child’s education this year?

Suggestion Box

Have box mounted outside of class door for student or parent suggestions. Let it be known it is perfectly fine to make anonymous suggestions or to send them in envelopes with students.

Thursday Folder Notes

Send home a folder on Thursdays with student work in one side, school communication on the other side. Have a sheet that is permanently included for hand written comments and communication between parent and teacher.

Monthly Calendar

Each month send home a calendar that highlights times when parental participation would be encouraged on a school and class level. Include times in your daily schedule when parents are free to drop in, perhaps a study hall at the end of the day or a reading time when they can come listen to readers or read themselves. Invite parents to lunch, recess, library times, lab time and special activities. Try to schedule at least one thing a month that will occur in the evening (for working parents). Have an authors tea where students share works they’ve published. Set up an art museum for parents to come see. Have parents let you know if they have an idea to add. A calendar will give parents on a tight schedule an opportunity to plan in advance and give them a variety of options to choose from.

Office Hours

Have one evening a week marked on calendar when you will either be available in the class room or available over the phone to speak with parents. Periodically change the time so you will be available to all parents at sometime.

Rotating Homeroom Parent

Have the homeroom parent position change each new nine week period. This will give more parents an opportunity to participate so that the work load will be less likely to fall on one or two persons.

Weekly News Letters

Send home a news letter in Thursday folders. Try to incorporate the help of a bilingual parent or coworker if necessary. Use news letter to thank parents and acknowledge their contributions and inform them of any new developments.

Teacher Calls

In the case of parents who don’t respond to written communication, periodically call them so they will know you are aware of them and care about their input. If they do not speak English enlist the help of their “web” caller or a member of the school staff who speaks their language.

Bulletin Board Feature

Use a specific bulletin board to highlight individual students, their families, and cultural heritage on a one or two week rotating basis. Encourage the parents to help the student plan the board. Send each family a note about it with suggestions (that they aren’t limited to) and a sign up schedule. Be prepared with plans to assist students that have parents who don’t get involved.

Homework Packets

Consider all family situations in homework assignments. Give weekly or monthly packets so a family can be flexible in designating time to work on it. Include activities that can be accomplished with parental input such as family histories, surveys, and projects.

Parent Book Shelf

Have books, even if only a few, available to parents on a specifically designated shelf in your room Include books on parenting, homework and study skills, and what ever the need is in the class.